Bau G, My Grandfather died yesterday morning.
For last month in which I have been in Pakistan, I have seen his health deteriorate. To see him, on whose shoulders i have used for horse ride in my childhood, become too week to move himself was extremely unbearable. For me he was always a man heading family, too strong, too powerful. He was not the eldest in age in his family but one who was respected in families of his brothers and his father’s brothers.
In some time past there used to be trend that elders will sit near the Deag (a large utensil in which food is cooked) during wedding, deaths or any such occasions. I have always seen him being requested to be seated there, no matter whether such occasion was in the near family circle or far away. In fact in the near family circle his place was always kept empty for him. On his death I met someone who told me how he used to come from office directly to such place his peerhi (small sitting chair) in his tie and pent-shirt. He was Bau G from early childhood.
He played important part in whatever I achieved.
If I have habit of reading it’s because he used to bring too many newspapers, digests and magazines; so many that you can find different thing in each family member’s hand
If I know anything in English literature, it’s because he had guarded his 100 or 200 book collection very strongly, even when my father and uncles were not so much interested in English literature; might be just because of us although I started reading english novels only when I reached 10th class.
Books, mostly english novels transformed his relationship with me and my brother from just Grandfather into something much more important and stronger. Now he was not just Bau G, he was one who knew James Bond, whom you can ask what Agatha Christie meant in that part of novel. What was Perry Mason ,…. He was one who was sharing our interest, no more Grandfather who drives scooter and works in the Evernew Advertisement Firm
James Bond (Ian Fleeming’s character) is not complete for me without his mention. He had all novels on this character except one. During his hospitalization when he was angry on me for not taking him back home, I told him about new James Bond Novel had been written, I dont know whether he was interested in it anymore or not.
Today he lay under the soil (or only his body is there and his soul is above somewhere above), whatever be the case he is not with us. He is not with me. For 2 years my connection to him was only few phone calls that I used to do. Time difference, my stupid schedule and my lazy habits did not took anytime I could have used to talk to him. And today I want to talk to him. There are many discussions I want to have with him, many topics to share, many things to say, many many things to do with him and most importantly many apologies to do from my side.
For past one month I was busy as hell or it felt to me that I was busy like hell, but after his Qul (prayer after his burial) it seems there is nothing else to do. I want to get busy but there is nothing else to do.
I never emailed anyone about any such previous event, but today I feel I should do it. I want to tell that I knew him My Bau G.